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You Know What Works

You already know what you need to know. Think of all the conversations you've taken part in or observed. You've experienced fascinating conversations with like-minded individuals, upsetting fights that led nowhere, and everything in between. You could say you've put more time into practicing communication than almost anything else.

Whether you're aware of it or not, you've developed a keen sense for what "works." You know what to say to increase or reduce conflict, and you know what you really want to communicate. You can extract useful meaning from whatever words cross your mind first, even if you choose not to speak those words.

What is often missing is the ability to quickly access our innate expertise, even during moments of tension, uncertainty, and conflict. You could say that the problem is not learning better communication skills, the problem is remembering to use the skills you already have. Thankfully, as I see all the time, this ability to "remember" can be strengthened quickly with practice.




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